Mark our words: This one will be legendary.
On tonight’s Catfish, so much shade was thrown when a young man finally met his fake Internet beau that we’re betting the episode will inspire a mountain of memes — and earn a place on every “most memorable Catfish episodes” list from here to eternity.
The first part of the catty Catfish equation: Mike, who, just before moving from Connecticut to California, had met a hottie named Joey on Grindr. But alas, Joey was hella shady — he bailed on a visit or two and only videochatted in a “pitch black” room. Um, okay…
And Mike? Well, let’s just say he was a little extra. Okay, a lot extra.
“I tan, eat sushi and drink on the beach every day,” he told Nev and this week’s guest host Jane Carrey (aka lead singer of The Jane Carrey band and daughter of Jim Carrey). As for his life aspirations?
“I don’t really see myself working. I think the best fit for me is to be a top-of-the-line trophy husband,” he said. His prerequisites for a mate: “They just have to be successful.”
But, Nev wondered, did Joey — a mechanic by trade — fit Mike’s requirements? According to the tanned one himself, yes – but Nev doubted his choices in general.
“Does he really know what he wants?” he asked Jane. “I think in an effort to find some identity, he became a character. He wants a sugar daddy to take care of him, [he wants to] eat sushi — because that’s what [he’s] seen on television. “
But as far as identity, let’s get to the big question on hand: Who was Joey? Turned out, it was Mikey — aka Mike’s former BFF.
“I wanted to break his heart — I got mine broken,” Mikey said when they came face to face, just before claiming that Mike had slept with his now-ex.
Mike, however, denied the allegations, and that’s when the two began reading. each. other. for. filth. First, Mike suggested that Mikey hadn’t exactly come camera-ready.
“Next time, do your f*cking makeup,” he said. “This is a reality show, not a f*cking horror show.”
“I can’t stand you,” Mikey spat back.
“I can’t stand looking at you,” Mike retorted. Then he went for the jugular: “I’m going to beat you at everything you ever do for your entire life. You’ll always be uglier, older, and disgusting.”
Mikey’s reply? “You’re, like, covered in Cheetos dust.”
Mike, of course, just shook off the insult – and ignored Mikey when he suggested that Mike was just playing a “character.” (Sound familiar?) “I’m still living my best life in California,” Mike said. “You’re still here [in Connecticut].” And when Nev realized the two were at an impasse and decided to call it a day, Mike had one last quotable quote: “I’m going to move on. Life’s short. Bathing suits should be shorter.”
So what became of the dueling duo? Two weeks later, during a video-call catchup, Mike reported that (surprise!) he had Mikey had “patched things up” — then mentioned that he’s still searching for a sugar daddy. And that, friends, leaves us wondering: Do you think Nev and Mikey were right, and is Mike playing a character? Does he really not know what he wants in life? Or is the sassy sun worshiper just living his best life? Tell us your thoughts, then catch another Catfish next Wednesday at 9/8c.